Feminine or feminism?

"Be a lady!"

This was a term that growing up, was in a second nature thanks to my mother. Not only would I get told off (in a nice way) when I made funny facial expressions, poked my tongue out, sat in a 'wrong posture' but I would also get shown how to act like a lady.

As a young girl growing up, this was definitely something I did not particularly enjoy, but now as a grown woman, it is something I embrace!

I'm a woman, and that is what I have always been, will always be. So I will address women on this :) The title woman comes with a whole lot of definitions. When anyone hears the name 'woman' some things which would come to mind would be a nurturer, female, feminine, lady, name it! Everyone has their unique definition, depending on cultural perspective, but this would be the general terms used to describe the woman.

As the world changes and the roles that have been previously been considered masculine or feminine considered both gender roles, women are increasingly pressing for equality and simply doing what men have always been known to do, and even better. This trend has consistently shown in the age of powerful female figures like Michelle Obama, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Malala, just to name a few, shows that indeed the voices of women is here to stay.

This means that as women, our strength and abilities go beyond any traditional definitions and we just need to embrace the guru within to break the glass ceiling and beyond!

However, one thing is left to question in the wake of what some would call feminism and empowering women. How do we balance the changing times, roles, and still retaining the hardwired composition of our core being that makes us female? And most of all embracing our feminine nature with integrity?

I have come up with a list of things that I have learnt through life experiences growing up, and also from women I look up to (and these are personal opinions;)

1. A feminine woman is authentic

There's nothing as refreshing as a woman who is simply herself. A woman can be many things, but maintaining a real sense of self makes it easy to recognize her role in the world.

To know oneself is to recognize ones strengths and weaknesses alike, and learning how to work on the strengths to achieve ones goals and desires.

An authentic woman does not try to 'save the whole world' by trying to please everyone but recognizes the part she plays in her ability and therefore does not burn out from doing things outside her scope.

2. A feminine woman is gentle and approachable

Women come in all shapes and sizes, and so do their personalities! Some women are naturally quiet and calm, while others are more vocal and responsive. This comes back to maintaining the authentic self.

However, it is in the feminine nature to be gentle. This does not mean that the woman will be appear weaker in the sense, but instead a strength that comes with being approachable.

3. A feminine woman is modest in style

Every woman is unique in how and what she perceives as her style. There's no wrong or right when it comes to personal taste in style, but modesty is something every woman who embraces the feminine characteristic should have. This means dressing for the occasion and not revealing too much skin.

Not only does modesty exude class, it also commands respect from both men and women.

4. A feminine woman smiles more than often

'Why bother to smile? I mean so long as the work gets done!'

Or 'smiling might make me appear weak'

This might sound familiar to some women. However, the contrary is true. Smiling more make one appear pleasant and friendly.

It also indicates a strong an healthy mindset, as a feminine woman understands that the struggles she might be going through are not what defines her and that it's a pattern of life. She encourages herself and knows that a smile will go a long way to make someone's day.

5. A feminine woman maintains a good body posture

A good body posture not only maintains a correct alignment for the bones and joints, but it also exudes confidence.

Now I see why my mother would always correct my posture!

A feminine woman understands that good posture is important when walking, sitting or standing. She maintains a good posture always and with a friendly demeanor.

6. A feminine woman respects everybody no matter their social status

Everybody yearns to be respected. A feminine woman understands this and addresses people she meets with respect. She does it not to get anything back, but simply because it is a human need and because she respects herself enough to give it back.

7. A feminine woman is courteous

She recognizes the need to use the words 'please', 'thankyou', and 'excuse me' as part of her vocabulary. She shows up with a little gift when paying courtesy visits to friends, colleagues and family. She also recognizes the individuals who go out of their way to make things better whether it's at home or work.

8. A feminine woman chooses her words carefully

She knows that words can make or break and therefore uses her words to create the reality she desires. A feminine woman uses her words to uplift instead of downcast. She does not flatter and knows when not to talk at all.

In a room full of people, she does not feel the need for attention, and therefore waits for her turn. She does not feel the need to give her opinion unless it's needed. She is also open to hearing others opinion even if she disagrees, and states her stand without appearing snobbish.

9. A feminine woman is surrounded by a tribe

Many women have come before her and many will come after her and she looks up to many women who have shaped her into the person she is.

A feminine woman does not do life alone. She chooses her company wisely and surrounds herself with those who she endeavours to be like.

10. A feminine woman supports a cause

She believes in something greater than herself, and shows her allegiance by supporting a cause that will impact not only her generation but the next. This can be anything; serving within a church or community, supporting homeless, planting trees, supporting the elderly, disabled, etc.

Being female is not a choice, but embracing ones feminine characteristics indeed is! These are just a few traits of a woman who embraces her feminine nature. The list can go on and on, but my take is that women should be what they aspire for the next generation.

To the strong women who have embraced their feminism;

To the women who have gone before us, may we know them.

To the current woman (our mothers), may we be them.

And to the future woman, may we raise them!